


Don't Lose Your Head

by catlikeacat



Category: Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2020-01-05 10:14:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18363983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catlikeacat/pseuds/catlikeacat
Summary: There was a special kind of intimidating that comes with a solo mission with Zer0.Gaige had gone on trips with everyone else but this was the first time she’d found herself riding alone with the intimidating inhuman figure as they tore through the Highlands.Everyone else was so easy to get along with but Zer0? What do you even do with that? Where’s the common ground? Should she bust out some limericks?Who was she fooling, she doesn’t actually know what a limerick is.





	Don't Lose Your Head

**Author's Note:**

> me, kicking in the door: GUESS WHO HAS RETURNED, IT IS ME, BACK TO MY MOTHERFANDOM'S LOVING ARMS
> 
> God, like, I live life through a haze of depression but i've been on cloud nine since Borderlands 3 was announced and guess which greasy lil bitch got her hands on the Diamond Loot Chest Collector's Edition. This gal.
> 
> Anyways here's some Zaige that I came up with prior to the break. I wanted to get out at least n single Borderlands one shot while I work on finishing my Far Cry 5 fic.

There was a special kind of intimidating that comes with a solo mission with Zer0.

Gaige had gone on trips with everyone else but this was the first time she’d found herself riding alone with the intimidating inhuman figure as they tore through the Highlands.

Everyone else was so easy. Maya was so desperate for “normal girl time” that nothing Gaige could do would disappoint her. Axton had always radiated big brother vibes at her like a beacon, also easy. Sal just wanted to rampage which Gaige was eager to indulge. Krieg just likes to yell with someone who’ll yell back.

But Zer0? What do you even do with that? Where’s the common ground? Should she bust out some limericks?

Who was she fooling, she doesn’t actually know what a limerick is.

Looking down at Zer0, driving the car simultaneously way too fast and way too accurate she just didn’t know how to approach this.

Deep down, she’d always been curious about Zer0. Who wouldn’t be? Tall, dark and fearsome. All traits that appealed to anyone even vaguely suited to the Pandoran lifestyle. Besides, who doesn’t love a good mystery?

Also Gaige maybe gets a crush on every single person and not-person she interacts with.

Just a little bit.

Their current task was to take down a rampaging constructor bot and to take out its core to examine and see if they can make something to shut the big ol’ metal beasties remotely. This one was all but released into the wild by Hyperion, they probably wouldn’t even notice if the Vault Hunters took it out quietly.

The others were away on a more pressing mission in the Shelf. One that would require more brute force than Gaige and Zer0’s particular skills.

Gaige poured over the hacked blueprints as she was jostled in the modified Bandit Technical’s shotgun seat. Which usually involved actual shotguns, not light reading. Bouncing on the seat next to Zer0 was making it prove a difficult task, her legs tossed up on the dashboard not stabilizing her as much as she’d hoped. Their sharp turns and abrupt stops making her continually drop the paper to the floor of the car.

“Dude! You’re making it really hard to read here!!” Gaige plucked it off the ground again.

Zer0 didn’t sound sorry, “I apologize / Your personal library? / Not the comfiest.”

Sass. Unsurprising. Gaige didn’t know how anyone could find Zer0 scary and intimidating, if their face was exposed they’d probably be smirking.

“Har de har har, you’re so funny Mrster. Sexy Librarian Chauffeur Assassin,” Gaige unfolded it again, paying no mind to the skag that slammed into the passenger side door, “But it won’t do us much good to have me elbow deep in some unfamiliar robotics, covered in oil, not knowing exactly what I’m looking for. That’s how you lose an arm, for me hopefully the left one again.”

Gaige couldn’t decide if the flat ‘hee hee’ was sarcasm or not as she banged on her metal limb. That was always the thing with Zer0, no idea how sincere they’re being.

Zer0 tapped on the edge of the paper, “Is it difficult?”

“Don’t think it’ll be too hard…” Gaige mumbled, squinting at the jiggling words. Only unsure of one little part, the placement of the release valve.

“You don’t sound so certain,” Zer0 replied, alarmingly turning their head completely away from the road to try and look at the blueprints as well.

“Eyes on the road!” Gaige panickedly pushed on their helmet, shoving their presumed face forward, “Don’t you worry your pretty little head about the robotics side of things, just do the things you do well. Drive and kill.”

Rude. They seemed almost offended at that. If they were, then the fact they slammed on the brakes and sent Gaige flying forward made sense. Tumbling into the wide, empty floor space with a series of ungraceful squawks.

“You did that on purpose!” Gaige accused, scrambling clumsily to get up on the seat again, “Huge jerk!”

Another flat laugh but at least they reached down, firmly grabbed the back of her belt and hauled her back up on the seat. It would have been sweeter if they hadn’t abruptly dropped her on the worn leather the second she was back up.

“I’m gonna tell Maya on you,” Gaige stuck out her tongue.

But Zer0 was unconcerned about that, pointing outwards, “Constructor bot. There.”

Man, rampage really was the right word. Neither of them had ever seen one quite so lively before. Bucking around and erratically spitting out other bots.

Frankly it was a bit intimidating. Gaige played tough but deep down she hadn’t been a part of this life for very long and new threats still threw her off her game. And this bucking bronco of a bot she was supposed to take down and rip open… that was intimidating.

Her fear was palatable, even to the oft bad-with-human-emotions Zer0.

Gaige flinched harshly at the sudden weight of a too-heavy hand on her head.

“No reason to worry / Soon to be obsolete tech / Crushed under my heel,” Zer0 flashed a cheery “:D” at her.

Gaige laughed, face red as she grabbed their hand to stop her head from getting pushed down further, “Oh man, what’s it like to be completely unable to feel literally any fear, ever?”

“Quite enjoyable,” Zer0 tilted their head, “You should try it sometime, Gaige / Truly makes you free.”

At that they kicked open the door to the Technical and slid out in one fluid motion. Gaige stumbling over herself to pick up her gun and chase after them, “No fair, wait up!”

Keeping up with Zer0 was a physical impossibility for the stumpy legged girl, leaving her to lag behind her compatriot rushing right at the errant bot with inhuman speed. Sword digistructing into their hand at the last second as they leapt at the beast, aiming to cut it right in half.

While they’d made a truly impressive cut down the middle of the top it was still intact when they landed on the other side with a graceful ease that distracted Gaige for a split second before the beast bucking again brought her back to panic.

Trying to forget the fear clawing at her mind, Gaige barreled towards it. Arriving as Zer0 made their second strike, forming an “X” along the top but not stopping the constructor one bit as it spewed out two janky, erratic loaderbots with ease.

“Oh yeah, two can play that game!” Gaige sung, raising her left arm with unnecessary flair, “Sick ‘em, boy!!”

The mechanical roar of Deathtrap bursting into being attracted the attention of the equally newly formed loaderbots, shambling towards it with uneven steps. It took off, simply programmed to attack the nearest enemy. Meanwhile the constructor let out a shriek it shouldn’t be able to make at the mismatched robot it was much more interested in the girl who’d spawned it. Like a small, fleshy version of itself.

Forgetting all other targets, it rushed Gaige.

Oh shit, run.

Gaige started to jerk away to bolt but paused. Seeing Zer0 behind it, pulling out their sniper rifle.

Did she really want to be the loser baby Vault Hunter who runs away from things all the time? With Zer0 watching? Their words about not feeling fear echoing in her mind.

In that moment, Gaige decided she was going to impress Zer0. Prove she wasn’t amateur hour.

Squinting, she did start running again but towards it. Both her and the bot ignored Zer0 firing shots behind it as they barreled towards each other. At the last second, Gaige slid underneath it and braced herself as she blasted the constructor from below with her overpowered Torgue shotgun.

It dealt a shitload of damage from point blank but it slammed Gaige into the ground with the kickback and blinded her with the contained explosions, dazing her as the gun slammed her shoulder against the ground.

She could hear the constructor bot crash behind her, flipping over several times, but looking at it through double vision she could see it get up again quickly. Severely damaged but not forgetting her for a second as it rushed her again, clodding along on legs not meant to be run on.

But running it was, looking to bodyslam the mechromancer out of the mortal coil as it leapt at her.

Weakly, Gaige lifted her arms over her head to try to protect at least that. Wondering exactly how much of the human body can be replaced by robotics without the host dying and how much of that would she have to do should she manage to survive this. But given it was hurtling towards her like a comet, she didn’t think she chances looked good.

Closing her eyes, Gaige hoped she at least wouldn't have to see her own guts before dying.

But at the point of impact, instead of hearing her bones crushing and her organs squelching out she instead heard the sound of a deafening clanging.

Peeking one eye open, Gaige found a saviour in the form of her spindly teammate hunched over her like an animal. Right arm twisted at an unnatural angle but still managing to hold up the now shut down constructor bot's ample weight. They tried to flash an unknown emoticon at her but it came out garbled static, unable to form the shapes.

And even more pressing, their entire body was trembling and threatening to give out from the weight.

No intelligent thought given to crawling to freedom, Gaige instead yelled to her own bot, “Deathtrap! Help!!”

With a electronic gurgling noise, the floating droid zipped over. There was a sound of metal scraping on metal as Deathtrap dug its claws into the side of the constructor and flipped it off them with a thundering bang. It laid there, succumbed to its injuries, completely offline.

The second they were no longer holding up the colossal bot, Zer0 collapsed on top of Gaige.

She let out a guttural noise of pain at suddenly being body slammed but at least thankful it was the thin Zer0 and not the several thousand pound constructor bot.

Patting them on the back, Gaige’s face matched her hair, “Zer0, buddy, unbelievably grateful that you stopped me from being stomped like a sidewalk ant but like… you’re crushing me.”

“Give me a second,” they retorted, still limp, “Never held up that much weight / Impressed with myself.”

Gaige felt a pang of disappointment. Her attempt at impressing Zer0 had only resulted in them being more impressed with themself. For good reason, best she’d done is kamikaze the damned thing then get downed hard enough to injure her teammate. Good job, idiot.

“Are… are you okay?” Gaige asked, feeling a bit weird in having to ask their usually most indestructible member that.

Zer0 was abnormally silent. Gaige never realized how chatty the ninja was until deafening silence fell over them.

Gaige wasn’t entirely sure how long they were laying there, practically cuddling but it felt like forever. Maybe if she wasn’t being slightly crushed she would be enjoying this more but all she could focus in on was the pointed pieces of armor digging into her.

Eventually, Zer0 pushed themself up though. Awkward, clumsily, not letting themself put any weight on their right arm that still was jerked at a weird angle.

“The core,” Zer0 flatly replied, trying to turn the injured arm away from her as they nodded towards it.

Right, right, should probably rip that out before the thing tries to lurch back to life.

Whipping out her tools, Gaige quickly set to ripping that bad boy open and rooting around. Trying not to feel too self conscious with Zer0 watching over her shoulder curiously.

Alright, Gaige, so maybe you failed to impress them with your fighting skills so maybe your robotics skills? You’ve definitely got a lot more confidence in that.

First she quickly circled the bot, looking for any sort of activity but by all scans the thing seemed completely dead.

The only hurdle was Gaige was admittedly not terribly familiar with Hyperion tech. Always so much extra shit just to make it look ‘presentable’ or ‘fancy’ or whatever they’re going for. You don’t actually need all this bulky garbage she was snaking her arm through.

Also it made her nervous. Lots of crush-your-arm things. It was no coincidence the usually right handed girl was shoving her left down it.

Rooting around, she was certainly glad she’d read the blueprints. Firmly gripping her hand around the release valve and jerking it forward. Just nearly dodging the heavy core as it slammed into the ground in front of her.

Looking back at Zer0 for approval netted her a ‘:)’ before they scooped up the core one-handed and started carrying it back to the car.

Their right arm was still held unnaturally by their side. Gaige couldn’t quite tell exactly how bad the damage was but it looked… really, really bad. Trying to get closer, they simply jerked it away with a garbled, barely visible “>:(“.

“C’mon, man, I know you’re Captain Indestructible but like… your arm really looks bad. I’m not like, a full on doctor but when me and Axton went to the Dust he showed me some field medic stuff.”

“I will deal with it / Later, when we’re in private / With no prying eyes,” Zer0 replied, making their way back to the car and throwing the core in the back before strapping it down. Making it obvious that they intended to just get out of here and back to their apartments in Sanctuary as fast as possible.

A sudden jerk of Zer0’s neck nearly made them drop it. God, their neck too? Was… was Zer0 okay?

It was an awkward ride back to the fast travel station. In the car it became obvious how fucked up Zer0’s arm was, them unable to hide it given they were driving.

They tried to jerk away from the lingering gaze but given they were driving they could do little more then drive faster to try to get away the second they could. Each jerk of their neck only peaking Gaige’s concern, looking at them with those big ol’ sad eyes.

Being pulled through the fast travel station, they split after Zer0 helped her get the core upstairs to to try and dissect. Gaige couldn’t help but notice that Zer0 didn’t leave to go to Dr. Zed afterwards though. Peeking her head out to watch them go back to their shared apartment with Axton.

But Gaige knew Axton was still out with the others. She wished he wasn’t, she could easily tug on his sleeve a couple times with a pair of emerald green puppy dog eyes and get him to manhandle Zer0 into going to the doctor. She didn't know what the assassin intended to do about this but it seemed like they were intent upon ignoring it.

Normally Gaige liked to listen to some bangin’ pop punk music while she worked but this time she kept the room dead silent.

There was only one thin wall between her and Zer0, she was used to hearing everything that goes on in there anyways. Which was usually “Axton annoys Zer0 while they’re trying to sleep then gets something heavy thrown at him.”

But now it was just maddeningly silent.

Gaige’s work table was thankfully lodged firmly against the shared wall. Normally she wasn’t so dainty with her handiwork but she wanted to hear.

She hadn’t been entirely sure what she was listening for before the sound of several dull clunks followed by a crashing noise came through the thin wall. That was a much clearer sign of “oh fuck, go help your spindly teammate” than she expected, whatever it was she expected.

Jumping up, Gaige bolted to the other room and hammered on the door, “Zer0! Open up, you’re being a big baby!! Let me help you!!!”

There was the sound of shuffling behind the door before it was opened the smallest crack, Zer0’s mask poorly illuminating another jerky ‘>:(‘.

Gaige stuck her metal hand in the door frame to keep them from slamming it shut again, “You’re being a fucking dick, just let me at least try to help if you won’t go to Dr. Zed. Please. It’s a bandaid on a horribly broken arm but like… I mean at least the bandaid’s cute right?”

To Gaige’s relief, Zer0 let out one of their flat laughs at that. A busted ‘LOL’ lighting up the crack in the door. Flicking back to serious, she could see Zer0’s too few fingers frantically tap on the door before giving up and opening it just wide enough for her to squeeze in there.

Now Gaige didn’t have a terrible lot of faith in her medical expertise but fuck, if she could just get things vaguely in order that would be enough until one of their more responsible members could get back.

Hunched over awkwardly it was evident what Zer0 had tried to do. Their arm has no longer bent at a weird angle but dangled there completely limp.

“Did you seriously like… try to bang your arm back into place?” Gaige’s jaw hung, gingerly touching the offending arm.

Zer0 just looked away, “Least of my problems / Helmet severely damaged / I can barely see.”

‘Oh ho ho holy shit, am I going to get to see what’s under that helmet?’ echoed loudly in Gaige’s mind and she forced herself to not look too excited about her friends injuries. Pulling up a rolling chair in front of Zer0, she noted the toolbox next to them.

As they tilted their head to the side, Gaige could see why Zer0 was jerking around so much. One screw on the helmet’s base had already fallen off. Well… let’s just get the whole thing off then.

Taking the screwdriver placed into her hand, Gaige carefully reached up and set about removing the second one.

In no time it fell out with a dull ‘tink’ into her metal hand then another as she deposited it on the desk next to one of Axton’s spare handguns.

“Alright, let’s just-” Gaige started, reaching up and gripping the sides of the helmet. Trying not to look like a child on Christmas as she gently lifted it. Heart beating wildly as a million possibilities flashed in her mind.

A maybe obnoxiously number of the possibilities were Gaige hoping they were hot under there.

But the possibility that she never could have predicted was the one that came true as instead of the helmet coming off, their entire head did. Tumbling into her lap with a soft ‘whump’ noise against her skirt.

For a second Gaige just sat there, frozen dead in place as her usually quick mind struggled to comprehend exactly what just happened.

It clicked into place and she opened her mouth to scream. However, she found a long, thin hand clamped tightly over her mouth as a stern warning of “Don’t.” came from the disembodied head on her lap.

Thankfully the hand released her quickly as it had grabbed her, allowing her to start hyperventilating. Just a little bit.

Zer0 was headless, moving around, and...

“Wha… what’s…” she managed to pant out, trembling hands nervously gripping the head before she picked it up again and flipped it over. Looking incredulously at the exposed wiring, neatly disconnected from the ones spilling from their neck stump on the actual body in front of her.

Their arms would be crossed if they had both of them functional, the flat and jumbled ‘:|’ on their helmet way too close to her face.

“Oh my god, I’ve literally never been happier to see a robot in my entire fucking life,” Gaige gasped, hugging the disembodied head tightly against her chest, “And I’ve been pretty fucking excited to see robots at many, many points in my life.”

“Do not tell anyone,” Zer0 warned, haughty despite their embarrassing state, “My privacy, important / No one needs to know.”

“Yeah I won’t tell anyone,” Gaige said to Zer0’s relief before instantly turning it again, “Nobody needs to know that you’re this stupid!”

The bright ‘D:<’ was shifted in the center, cracked in two, “I’m n-”

“Zer0, you were alone with a literal roboticist who is HIGHLY TRAINED in fixing robots and you went into another room and tried to smash your arm back into place. From where I’m sitting, holding your big dumb head, you look like idiot prime.”

They raised their functional hand into an accusatory point but they faltered and dropped it, knowing they’d lost, “... help me.”

To their immense relief, Gaige was more than eager to comply.

Examining the helmet closer, Gaige managed to click open the visor part to get a look at the inside. Mercifully, though alien in its design, was nothing she couldn’t handle. At least one simple fix was easily accessible, reaching in and clunking the tilted but thankfully unbroken lens back into place with some forcing, “There you go, can you see now?”’

Their reply came in the form of a bright ‘:D’ flashing up at her, no longer distorted by being twisted out of place.

“I’ve got some better, newer screws in my repair bag for your neck so that’ll be fine too,” Gaige turned the head in her hands over again before it dawned on her, “I’m uh… you have to… your… suit. Arm. Gotta fix your arm.”

Some part of her knew it was silly for her heart to be racing so fast as Zer0 started pulling down the zipper with their remaining hand but it was happening nonetheless. Metal panels and exposed circuitry isn’t supposed to be sexy, weirdo. It’s just like fixing Deathtrap.

Except Deathtrap is only a quasi-sentient battle droid not a fully sentient, fully intelligent, super badass, robot ninja assassin that she’s seen even MOXXI get a little starry eyed over.

And they were currently pulling off their suit to the waist, awkwardly struggling to get their damaged arm out of the skin… er, frame?? tight suit.

Gaige knew she should be looking at the busted elbow but instead she found herself curiously scanning every inch of the exposed metal. Sleek and dark grey, some lighter panels over them. Just slightly raised. Removable, she supposed, so you could get in there, get into their wires and circuits and motherboard…

Shaking her head, Gaige mentally slapped herself back to attention. Grabbing the busted up arm and looking at it closely, too closely. Blood going cold at the flat and loud ‘ha ha’ coming from the head still resting on her lap.

Oh good, they noticed that. That’s what she wanted to happen and totally isn’t super duper embarrassing!!

Loaderbots don’t wear clothes and you don’t look at them like this, this is NO DIFFERENT, Gaige!

Just… just focus on the task at hand. Or elbow.

Nothing too broken, mostly just a lot of pieces knocked horribly out of place. A bit dented in places but mostly just fucked up screws causing the problems.

“It’s not that bad,” Gaige told them, one handedly taking off her lunchbox and slamming it on the table. Clicking it open and fishing for the needed piece without even looking, “You’re just got like, a couple screws loose. Physically. Just replace a few.”

“So you’re going to screw me?” they replied. Gaige’s jaw dropped until the cold, icy laughter broke the silence again.

“Who taught you that, man?!” Gaige squawked, slamming them in the chest with a metal on metal clang, “What are you, Innuendobot 5000?! Hanging out with Moxxi too much?!”

“Axton. A bad influence / Always making dirty jokes / I am not sorry.”

They sounded smug, Gaige didn’t even have to look down to see the ‘;D’ glowing below her.

“You didn’t even mess yourself up that bad considering you took an entire constructor bot to the spine,” Gaige tried to change the subject before realizing why do that when you can just make a dirty joke back? She didn’t even look up from her work as she tried to shoot back, “Kinda hot. Love seeing a well made robot.”

Oh no, that’s not a dirty joke that’s just hitting on Zer0. She just hit on Zer0.

They puffed up with pride at that though, helmet flashing a ‘<3’ up from her lap, “An odd compliment.”

“Why… didn’t you let me help?” Gaige went back to her original idea of ‘change the subject’ but with her face blushing significantly more than it would have been, “Could have fixed you then. Didn’t have to drive all the way back here and make your arm worse.”

Their turn to look embarrassed, “Well.. my pride, my fall / I do not like to be weak / Can do small repairs…”

“Aww, you didn’t want to look uncool in front of me,” Gaige cooed, “You just wanted to be the tough, badass lone wolf. Trying to impress me?”

They hunched down at that damningly.

She was beaming at that, smile a beacon in a sea of bright red, “Well, if it makes you less embarrassed I think saving my life is pretty damn impressing and… maybe, I was trying to impress you too.”

“Both of us hit it / The always moving target / Of being badass,” Zer0 flashed another ‘;D’ up at her.

“Stop!! If anymore blood rushes to my face I think my head’ll explode!!” Gaige let go of the now repaired arm, “Just… let me get your head…”

“No need, can do that myself,” they replied, finally taking the heavy weight of their head off her lap to her disappointment

“Don’t get shy again!” Gaige protested, hoping that the fact she secretly intended to linger around the exposed metal for as long as she could, “C’mon, just let me-”

For a second it looked like they were going to back down and let her stay but evidentally they’d reached the end of how much they could tolerate being helpless in front of someone else. But a mischievous ‘:)’ lit up the helmet as they turned it back around. Gaige jumping as it came towards her face sharply, stopping short and bopping against her mouth in the best imitation of a kiss that the faceless robot was capable of. Cheerily snarking, “Are you happy now?”

Gaige gaped like a guppy a few times, trying to figure out if that counts as her first kiss given her partner had nothing even resembling lips.

But she wasn’t allowed to think about it too hard as she was hoisted out of the rolling chair and steered towards the door. Realizing she was getting the boot, she futilely squirmed against the hand tightly curled into the back of her shirt. “You can’t kick me out now, man!” 

Both of them knew she just wanted to stare now, maybe push to inspect some of Zer0’s more deeply inner workings. They merely quipped at her as they set her down in the hallway, a jaunty, “buy me dinner first” before the door slammed shut behind her.

For a second she just stood there shell shocked at the quick turn of events before turning around and banging on the door with a petulant, “You don’t even eat!!”

All she got was some more of Zer0’s flat laughter from the other side of the locked door.


End file.
